I thought that I would just update you all on what is happening since I had my surgery. If you are unsure what I’m talking about, please have a look at this post before continuing with this post.
A lot has happened, but not at the same time.
This post is again, going to get a bit personal, because this is a personal topic.
One thing I do want to mention that re-reading my previous post I did not is the topic of fertility. Endometriosis isn’t proven to make a woman infertile. But in this case I seriously think it does affect a woman’s ability to have children. While I was having my surgery I asked my doctor to test how things are running in that regard. I am pleased to report that I CAN have children. Which I cannot express how thankful I am to hear that news. The sad part though, is that it is most likely that I will need help, which is fine, but still disheartening.
I just wanted to add that in this post because I know that I was FREAKING out about not being able to have children. I am so glad that I now know that I still can and if you are like me and unsure, PLEASE go get checked out. (You might also have the super interesting experiences of peeing BLUE.)
I am in a lot less pain than I used to be. Which ultimately is what I wanted going into all of this and I am so thankful. I am not totally out of the woods yet though, there are still days where I have huge pain spikes. But overall I am a lot better which I am unbelievably thankful for. I have yet to have a period, which is a little weird. My body has TRIED though, so that is something. If I don’t have another period for the next 5 years I sure wont complain!
All of my scars are healing up really well! I had 3 incisions, one in my belly button, one on my hair line and one to the left of my belly button. The one in my belly button is impossible to find, which is so cool! The one on my hair line is healing perfectly and isn’t raised at all which I am thankful for. The Doctor went through the same whole as last time so I don’t have a new scar which was thoughtful of her. The last one to the left honestly just reminds me of the freckle that I have on the other side of my stomach haha!
Ok, this is where things get more complicated. I have been going through a rollercoaster of things that I don’t realise until I can reflect on my behaviour. I am sure people around me can probably attest to some of the things I will say but oh well. I am sorry!
The first week, I thought I was fine, I wasn’t. I made silly mistakes at work and was all over the place. I didn’t even know I had made mistakes until they were pointed out to me later. I don’t really make mistakes at work so that was a bit worrying. Also that week I had a Uni Essay due and before surgery I honestly thought I would be fine and I didn’t need extra time or anything. At 1pm the day it was due I practically had a breakdown and had to ask for an extension. This was my first real inclination that I was going through something because of the contraception.
From there I have been either really ‘down’, my ‘normal’ or really happy. But they all come in extremes. Mostly though, I have been feeling down and I cannot explain it but it’s affecting me in everything I do. As you would have noticed, I haven’t posted many blog posts since then, nor have I been active on my Instagram. I have even been neglecting my fiction writing!!!
I THINK I am getting there, I can feel myself returning to my form of ‘normal’ which I am so thankful for! I want to get back into blogging and talking to everyone within the community. I am super excited for the new Instagram Update, I can’t wait to interact with you all more through that medium. So if you are ever interested in finding out what I actually sound like be sure to stalk me on Instagram!
Overall, I am honestly on the right track. I am working through things, but it’s hard to figure out what is what when I am also stressing about my Masters degree. I am thankfully in less pain, which to me, is the most important thing right now. The pain was effecting my life in ways I didn’t realise now that its gone.
Hopefully I get back into the swing of things and you will see me back in the blogging world soon! I have some things planned so look out for them when they appear!
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I hope to see you next time,